Dan Hurtt and I have teamed up to perform a few Exorcisms on combines. The first step is to administer a huge dose of laxitive to the owner of the possessed machine. This eliminates the possibility him being full of , well you know. The second step is this: Dan holds the operators manual (which usually has not been opened more the bible kept on the coffee table to impress the local minister) up to the owner holding him at bay while I climb on the cab top and start sprinkling the holy mixture of diesel fuel conditioner, lithium grease, chain and cable lube, battery terminal cleaner and glass cleaner ( most of the items scare the living daylites out of combines haints (evil spirits to you yankees) because they haven't experienced these items in quantity since birth). If that doesn't produce a Silver Streak then we circle the beast chanting "www.harvesting.com_combines_gleaner" then "hyper mods " looking for missed factory updates and perfomance mods that are not present. Finally the gentle giant is taken to a fresh virgin field of ripe grain and teach it all over the proper etiquette in devouring mass quantites in short order while wiping out all the bad old habits of the past. If all this doesn't work I send in the Mother of all exorcists - My Mother in law !!! No one including myself has survived her wrath. In fact the name 'mad cow' disease was born after viewing one of her fits............ I gotta go home ....
