You May Be a Farmer If ?

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[SIZE=+2]You May Be a Farmer If ?[/SIZE]
  • Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife
  • You convince your wife that an overnight, out of province trip for equipment parts is a vacation
  • You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations
  • You have ever had to wash off in the back yard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house
  • You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket
  • You have used baling wire to attach a license plate
  • You have used a chain saw to remodel your house
  • You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population,herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday
  • You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a peace of equipment
  • You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops
  • You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway
  • You have buried a dog and cried like a baby
  • You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs
  • You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers,and peel apples.
  • You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.
  • You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night.
  • You have used something other than paper as a toilet tissue.
  • You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago
  • You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road numbers
  • Your wife agrees to observe Mothers' Day after the beans are planted
  • You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house
  • Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers
  • Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest
  • You've been stopped by the police for a cluttered dashboard
  • The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old T-shirts
  • You know checkoff is not a Russian diplomat
  • Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news
  • You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
  • You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
  • You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
  • You don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way.
  • You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
  • It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
  • You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot.
  • The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
  • You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart.
  • Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away.
  • You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
  • Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
  • You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
  • Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigs.
  • You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video.
  • You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
  • You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFO.
  • Your nearest neighbor is in the next section, and you know what a section is.
  • You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
  • You actually understand the geographical neccesity of correction lines
  • Your other vehicle is a Massey Ferguson
  • You have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirty.
  • During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
  • You are related to more than half the town.
  • You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
  • Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.
  • Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
  • You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
  • You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
  • There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
  • The local gas station sells live bait.
  • You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
  • You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop.
  • You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
  • All your radio-preset buttons are country.
  • You try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town.
  • Using the elevator involves a grain truck.
  • You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
  • Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
  • You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
  • You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
  • Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
  • You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
  • You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
  • You wear your boots to church.
  • It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
  • You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart.
  • The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
  • You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping.
  • Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
  • You defend the beauty of being able to see the next town which is 20 miles away.
  • And finally, if given $1,000,000 you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are.
 
 
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